Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I'm having an affair with............

It seems as though people are having a hard time NOT having an affair lately.
Lately, it's been the men we are hearing about, you know,
 Tiger Woods and Jesse James.
The skanky women of this world make it easy for some guys.

I TOTALLY believe in the sanctity of marriage...
you know love, cherish, monogamy, the whole bit.

I would love to know when a MOM has time to have an affair.
Believe me, it happens, I have heard stories.

So, I am here to confess.
I am going to confess to the blogworld, and the cyberworld,
about the affair I am having with 2 items.

Oh, how I love thee....lil' baby Diet Coke,
I put my lips on your can and am instantly gratified.
Or, I get you on ice with a straw, and you satisfy my every need!
You know how to pick me up and make a bad day better.
You listen to my problems, you are always just a few steps away during my day.
I love you, and am in fact~very addicted to you, and ...you...complete...me!!

See this couple?
See how happy she is, she smiles while she sleeps, huh?
Doesn't it look heavenly?

I am in love with my husband's CPAP machine.

It entered our home last May {gosh, maybe that was a lil' bday present from God}.
After years of listening to my Branmuffin snore, and pushing him to the couch....
He got hooked up with this beaut' of a machine.

And now, we can hook up!  We can sleep in the same room.
I tiptoe up to our room and make out with this lil' machine when he leaves for work, just to let the
lil' CPAP know how much I appreciate him and what he has given me, my
life, and our marriage.

So...I would be a LOT less happy with life if I didn't have these two items,
oh and the Internet....seriously, what did we do before the Internet?
I probably could go on and on....
But, bottomline...I gotta have my Diet Coke and B's CPAP machine.



bcartmil said...

That explains why my head straps are always to tight when I go to bed. And if you need more DC today we have a couple of 1/2 racks in the garage. Just keep you affairs to these two items and we can do some role playing when I get home..... :)

Bambina Babe said...

you're hilarious! :)

Beth said...

Ha ha ha! So funny Suzanne :) Maybe I should have Dave get one of those! What a waste of surgery for those 2! I am still using earplugs from time to time. Have a great day Girl! Excited to see you this weekend!

Misty said...

Oh my sweet Suzanne... I feel like we should be sisters! I share your same love of Diet Coke and yearn for the day when my husband will commit to a CPAP. He has spent many a night on our couch. And I've spent many a night be awoken from a deep sleep by the chainsaw in my ear.