Tuesday, November 30, 2010

CLEAR Hair!!!

It's happening.
I can't stop it.
And I cannot join that "club".

You wanna know what I am talking about?
Please don't laugh or snicker, just be
empathetic and give suggestions.

I am a girl who gets her hair colored for fun.
You know, highlights sometimes, dark other months of the year...
mix it up now and again and 
I try different hair colors and looks for fun.
Well now, I am gonna be getting my hair colored
it's necessary.

I found 6 clear gray hairs last night.
Yes, yes, I have had a couple before, but nothing you would ever see.....
I usually find them when I am washing my face for bed at night, and I decide
to see how bad my roots are, or flossing my teeth 
or checking if there are any stray eyebrows to pluck.
Branmuffin is usually laying in bed watching me in the mirror
going..."seriously, what are you doing in there?".

Well this is just different.
It was horrific, in fact.
I brushed my hair and parts of my hairline glistened and sparkled.
Read that again......
I saw parts of my hairline glisten and sparkle.
I like jewelry and things that sparkle...not hairlines.
So, I started plucking, and searching, and finding more
clear gray hairs.

And if I didn't have somewhere to go,
I would've shushed the kids out of my bathroom, 
locked the door, and 
contorted my body in weird positions to search every
area of my scalp.

Maybe I will train Tatum to be my monkey 
and comb my scalp looking for clear gray hairs.

And to be fully honest, cuz I always am with you and everyone
I meet, even in the line at the grocery store.....my hairdresser found 
a long clear gray hair in the back of my head one time!
It was probably because I begged her to see if she could find one, cuz
if I ever find them, they are at the top of my head.
I am gonna hire some kid that wants to make
side money, to search my head and pay them
50 cents per clear gray hair strand.

Here is my worst nightmare...
having a long clear gray hair that I am unaware about.
That others could see and notice and not tell me.
Or worse, if they grow near the front of my head/hairline
like Stacy London!

Seriously, why does she not color that,
and am I the only person who has ever wondered that?

This is making me a lil' nuts.
I have been a low-maintenance gal on 
the beauty scale and I might have to rethink
my whole mojo.
I'm the gal who leaves the house with wet 
hair and just a bit of concealer and blush...now I might have
to be a coiffed hairdo and full on makeup girl.
Seriously, isn't that what happens to 
dare I say the words.....Old Ladies?

And so they say...

I don't know what the story is....but I do know that
I am giving each and every one of you permission
that if you are ever around me and seek out a clear gray 
hair on my head....you can pluck it!
Pluck it fast, pluck it hard, and even without 
warning and I will be forever grateful.
Because you were there for me.....when I needed you most.

So NOT Stinkin' Cute!



I am happy you have joined the Clear Hair Club.. I call mine, my silver crown... You will know when it gets bad and your kiddos say, "Mom I think you need to go get your hair did". I say awe come on, I need to make it a few more weeks. It is not cheap to keep up with the hiding process and I will not be a do it selfer, or my hair would be have a large hint of orange to it. So start saving your change and Branmuffins change in a jar labeled "Clear Hair Fund".
Love you Suzanne... Thanks for the giggles that turned into laughing so hard I had tear running down my cheeks...

lhoffman said...

You are so funny. And welcome to it. Funny how my husband, a mere 37 and 3 1/2 years younger, has been salt and pepper the entire 7 years I've know him and he looks fantastic. Me, with my clear hair, I hate it. Thank goodness for color.

Nycia @ Inspired Events said...

How funny!! When I spotted my first gray hair, I called my mom and told her I totally understand why she colors her hair 24-7. She told me not to pull it out becuase more will come. Well of course I didn't listen, and sure enough more have peaked out. I started to just blame it on being pregnant, at the age of 33, what else could it be, "right". Now all the talking about my mom coloring her, I guess I will be joining her in the process quiet often..

Shannon said...

Well, be thankful for only a few. I have been going gray since college! I have to color my hair every 4 weeks or it gets pretty bad! I'd say my head at the age of 37 is about 75% gray. My husband likes it (or so he says). He tells me just to let it go gray - no more coloring. Really? I am still in my 30s! So I have many years of coloring ahead of me! Thanks for your fun blogs - They keep me smiling!

PP.ORG said...

That little gray streak London has is great. Distinctive! Embrace it (from the salt n pepper club president)

Beka said...

I always thought London did that streak on purpose...NO idea why she would do that, but I figured it was her signature style....

Juliet Mock said...

You are so funny! Love the post...I was giggling the whole way through. I have clear hair too! I will join the club with you. Stacy certainly needs to color her clear hairs!